Awesome.

Mark Twain wrote this shit and posted it in his house after being robbed in 1908:

Things that are universal.

In my first post in quite some time... I'd like you all to meet someone who has been all over the news here in Spain for the past six months or so: Iñaki Urdangarin, aka His Excellency the Duke of Palma of Mallorca, the son-in-law of the current Spanish monarch, King Juan Carlos I. He is accused of siphoning public funds from his non-profit organization, the Nóos Foundation.


You may be thinking... "wait a second, he's Spanish royalty but that name doesn't sound very ancient Mexican." And you're right. He's a Basque, a small ethnic minority who isolated themselves in the Pyrenees mountains during... well... the whole of written history until about 200 years ago.

His Excellency was a two-time bronze medal olympian in handball (yeah, that's a sport in Europe). He became a profession handball player (skip to 00:35 to see how weird this game is) at age 18 and competed in the 1996 Olympics for the Spanish national team. That fateful summer he met the King's daughter, Infanta Cristina. The very next year they married (apparently Spain doesn't believe in princesses... the King's daughters are all "infantas"). He also kept playing lacrosse-without-sticks and won his two bronze medals as the Duke of Palma.


Upon retiring, Don Iñaki assumed some responsibilities expected of a Royal son-in-law. He was put in charge of the Nóos Foundation, a non-profit organization, where as head, he allegedly schmoozed some local politicians in the Balearic Islands into buttering his bread, which in Europe is almost always done by buying the schmoozee some 16 year old prostitutes. Though various papers and publications provide different figures, its widely believed that he had over 9,000,000€ at his disposal... 500k more than the Royal Family's annual budget.


My favorite bit: aside from doing the obvious, buying undocumented office supplies, booking hotels and first class flights, going to sporting events and stashing some of the pie in tax havens like Belize and Monaco, he was also called to court to answer questions about the various fundraisers he organized with current and retired professional soccer and handball players. The man knows how to party.


After the breakout of the scandal, King JC1 has since stated in his annual Christmas Eve address (which I guess is the equivalent of the State of the Union), "justice is equal for all."


The Duke of Palma is the perfect example of the modern day politician... handsome, charming and fucking grimy.

Slick Willie abides.

To quote Chris Rock: "Don't hate the player... hate the game."

Slow blogging...

I've been remiss on the updates lately. Why? I'll tell you why. Work. FUCK QUICKBOOKS.

SOYLENT GREEN IS BABIES! BABIES!

Sweet jesus fucking christ: OK Senator Introduces Bill to Ban Human Fetuses in Food.

What a fucktard.

Verily!

from C&L http://crooksandliars.com/

Friday is Oi Punk Day

Real Names

Mattias Cuntz.

Now you know.

A Fine Cough Supressant

Better than cough syrup. $3 half pints.

Joe Fucking Tex.

Damn straight.

NH Legislator Introduces Bill in Support of D.C. Statehood

Very interesting:

http://wamu.org/news/morning_edition/12/01/12/new_hampshire_legislator_makes_case_for_dc_statehood#.Tw8F_uM6_DU.twitter

All for it. Puerto Rico too.

Et Tu Mr. Destructo?

This is pretty rad:

http://www.mrdestructo.com/

Yesterday, New York Times Public Editor Arthur Brisbane solicited reader input with an opening sentence so viscerally and efficiently dumb that it's almost sublime: "I'm looking for reader input on whether and when New York Times news reporters should challenge 'facts' that are asserted by newsmakers they write about." Essentially, the ombudsman of the most important newspaper in America crowdsourced the idea that reporters might do their jobs.

Whoever writes Mr. Destructo is hilarious and very much on point. Also too, sweet Jesus-tit-fucking-Christ, NY Times! How the fuck can you be the paper of record if you don't point out untruths, distortions and outright viscous lies? Perhaps you aspire to be the official stenographer of whoever you deem worthy of writing news stories about? Fuckers.

This is about as rad as rad gets:

http://crippledwizard.tumblr.com/

This comes to you from Ryan Boyd, a gentleman and a scholar if there ever was one.

James O'Keefe: What an Asshole

From ThinkProgress:

James O'Keefe and company commit voter fraud while trying to prove voter fraud exists!

After poll workers asked for the person’s name, O’Keefe’s agents gave the name of a voter who died within the past few weeks, before then receiving a ballot to vote. The individuals asked the poll workers if they needed ID to prove their identity, and when poll workers confirmed that they did not, O’Keefe’s men insisted on returning to their car to retrieve their ID and returned the ballot...
Setting aside the legality of O’Keefe’s stunt, it is important to note that virtually no one – outside of O’Keefe’s agents – actually commits voter fraud. A seminal Brennan Center study on the matter, entitled “The Truth About Voter Fraud“, found that people were far more likely to be stuck by lightning than ever impersonate another voter at the polls. The study examined possible voter fraud in New Hampshire during the 2004 election, but was unable to find evidence for anything close to widespread fraud. Even if four questionable incidences proved true – one involved a “domestic violence victim, who voted from an old address in order to avoid disclosing her current domicile – it would amount to an overall fraud rate of 0.0006%

Way to go fellas! Prove that something nonexistent exists by doing it yourself! Enjoy the multiple felony convictions you dumb videotaping fucks!

Republican Switches Parties Because GOP is Insane

Jeff Wharton, former Republican has this to say about why he is switching parties and endorsing President Obama: http://thepoliticalcarnival.net/2012/01/08/guest-post-why-im-leaving-the-republican-partyand-endorsing-president-obama/.

I believe in smart government that effectively does what it should and leaves the rest to the private sector, while still recognizing the legitimacy of the existence of government. I believe in equal rights for all Americans, whether gay, straight, female, male, immigrant or naturally born. The Republican Party no longer believes in any of that.

No longer should the American people stand for the weak leadership and intellectual bankruptcy of the Republican Party. I’ll be voting for President Obama’s re-election.

It's nice to see reasonable people acting reasonably.

Santorum Babbles About "Elitist Snobbery" In Rich as Shit Amherst, NH

Ironic: Rick Santorum railed against Obama's stated desire to send all American high school graduates to college as "elitist snobbery" at a campaign stop in Amherst NH. Amherst's median income is over $89,000. Neighboring Milford, a working class town many reading this will be familiar with, has a median income of just over $52,000.

Amherst is well known as the well to do (rich & elitist) town of the Souhegan Valley region of NH. It is extremely odd to me that a candidate like Santorum thinks he can score political points by demonizing "elite snobbery". It seems what Santorum really means is "Democratic Elitism" or some such bullshit, which is why the crowd made up of people who are likely far richer than their neighbors just a mile or two away in Milford doesn't see anything wrong with bitching about elites.

Amherst's $89,000 median household income might not sound like much, but compare it to the national average of just over $44,000. Double. That counts as affluent, and by extension, elite. Fuckers.

Next time you talk to an anti-Federal Reserve type...

You may want to mention this: History of the Anti-Semitic Roots of Federal Reserve Consiracy Theorists.

In more recent years, the anti-Semitic notion that "the Jews" dominate and command the U.S. Federal Reserve System and in effect control the world’s money has surfaced across the extremist spectrum. Contemporary economic anxieties and distrust of government have given new life to this timeworn myth.

Just keep it in mind. Ron Paul's rhetoric smacks of this fairly frequently.

Apparently we used to have a pig fucking problem

Turns out colonial Americans were dirty pig fuckers.

This guy is rad

I was all stoked to go see Jonee Earthquake tomorrow at the Midway in JP, but The Man is making me go to work on a Saturday. You should go.

Tunes here.

Because it never gets old:

The first google result for "santorum", i.e. former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum, asshole and current candidate for the GOP nomination:

http://spreadingsantorum.com/

Dan Savage is a righteous dude.

America the beautiful is a lesbian anti-corporate greed anthem!

Really. Krugman tells us here.

Fat Mike talks sense (as usual)!

Here you will find an excellent interview with Fat Mike from NOFX where he discusses why he supports the Occupy Movement and is cautiously optimistic about Spotify, among other things:

http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/uponsun/2011/12/nofxs_fat_mike_on_cokie_the_cl.php

Mike makes a lot of sense for a regular guy, especially considering that he's a 25 years deep punk rocking alcoholic.