Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Things that are universal.

In my first post in quite some time... I'd like you all to meet someone who has been all over the news here in Spain for the past six months or so: Iñaki Urdangarin, aka His Excellency the Duke of Palma of Mallorca, the son-in-law of the current Spanish monarch, King Juan Carlos I. He is accused of siphoning public funds from his non-profit organization, the Nóos Foundation.


You may be thinking... "wait a second, he's Spanish royalty but that name doesn't sound very ancient Mexican." And you're right. He's a Basque, a small ethnic minority who isolated themselves in the Pyrenees mountains during... well... the whole of written history until about 200 years ago.


His Excellency was a two-time bronze medal olympian in handball (yeah, that's a sport in Europe). He became a profession handball player (skip to 00:35 to see how weird this game is) at age 18 and competed in the 1996 Olympics for the Spanish national team. That fateful summer he met the King's daughter, Infanta Cristina. The very next year they married (apparently Spain doesn't believe in princesses... the King's daughters are all "infantas"). He also kept playing lacrosse-without-sticks and won his two bronze medals as the Duke of Palma.


Upon retiring, Don Iñaki assumed some responsibilities expected of a Royal son-in-law. He was put in charge of the Nóos Foundation, a non-profit organization, where as head, he allegedly schmoozed some local politicians in the Balearic Islands into buttering his bread, which in Europe is almost always done by buying the schmoozee some 16 year old prostitutes. Though various papers and publications provide different figures, its widely believed that he had over 9,000,000€ at his disposal... 500k more than the Royal Family's annual budget.


My favorite bit: aside from doing the obvious, buying undocumented office supplies, booking hotels and first class flights, going to sporting events and stashing some of the pie in tax havens like Belize and Monaco, he was also called to court to answer questions about the various fundraisers he organized with current and retired professional soccer and handball players. The man knows how to party.


After the breakout of the scandal, King JC1 has since stated in his annual Christmas Eve address (which I guess is the equivalent of the State of the Union), "justice is equal for all."


The Duke of Palma is the perfect example of the modern day politician... handsome, charming and fucking grimy.
Slick Willie abides.




To quote Chris Rock: "Don't hate the player... hate the game."

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